so much to tell

I have so much to tell. But So little time. Suddenly, I've found a part of me that I thought I had lost for a long while. The excitable, effervescent, silly, toooo outspoken part of me. I took so much for granted, never realizing many honours that had been bestowed upon me. It was so refreshing knowing that I made a fool out of myself in the way i used to.

I'm really sad to leave my present school, esp with the improving ties within my class and those in my cca. and of course I hate to leave my friends alone:( but i'm excited all the same. it just seems so interesting. I always gave myself the excuse that it would seem like bragging but I guess it's also about letting people know they matter. Sigh

The need that has to be addressed

i have run away from reflections for so long, trying to fool myself into thinking that they were of minimal importance. Perhaps its the blankness of my mind and yet the myriad of thoughts that swarm through, untouched yet not unnoticed. Life in such an fast-paced society has had its effects. Anything that does not directly contribute to self-benefit immediately becomes an after-thought. Subconciously, i thought that all this could be stored away by detaching myself from reality, from the bare facts of life that surround me.

I was lost for words. There it seemed that the surroundings were perfect for reflection. A simple question. and yet, i had no reply. I didnt want to give a pc answer, that would seem so artificial, andd cliched to boot. And yet, i had reservations about revealing too much. Why?

I started with hopes, dreams, BIG visions. Save the world. or so it seemed. Yet, as days went by, nothing was accomplished. I wished to do more. I still wish to do more. And yet, i hit hard ground again. So many things undone, yet leave is to come soon. The enthusiasm for life, lost while study-numb, was somewhat rekindled through the outdoors. I have hardly felt this much attachment and love for a club ever, or so i think. Unaware perhaps.

I'm supposed to write a speech, but every word seems so hypocritical. Do i practise what i preach? Can I preach what i practise? An awareness is the first step towards inner beauty. And what a difficult step.

I have learnt so much, so much that it cannot be quantified. From places expected, and many unexpected too. Coincidence has made a large impact on me, with its enthusiasm for life and all that matters to me too. Frankly, everyone seems to have noble character in them. Unfortunately, the gap between action and deed is simply so complicated. No, not too complicated, for it can be overcome. But only if we try. And yet, are we willing to put down all we have thought to be important, and follow our hearts? That shall be our question for today. What do we want to live life for?